What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why am I always so tired, no matter how much I sleep?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What is the best technique for inserting a tampon into one’s anus?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Do all armies have the same rank structure?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why do men like to have sex with a woman's ass?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why do I have an itch in my labia, white gooey and thick discharge which doesn't have a smell but my vagina does sometimes and both me and my partner do not have STDs, what is it?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

TEXT:

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why would a girl not want you to know she has a crush on you?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Is marijuana bad for you?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Someone said that Japanese girls fly to Los Angeles all the time to have fun with black men. Is that true?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What are the challenges associated with the birth narratives of Jesus?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What does it mean to you to live a life that reflects biblical values?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What are your political and economic beliefs? How did you form them, especially in comparison to those who hold opposing views?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …